Zarqawi’s Latest Dispatch
21 Oct 2005
Tajal, Syria
In the name of God, the Merciful, the Compassionate, Peace and the mercy and blessings of God be upon you. Even if our bodies are far apart, the distance between our hearts is close.I send you this account that is appropriate to your position and that removes the veil and lifts the curtain from the good and bad that are hidden in the arena of Iraq.
We recently sent one of our Iraqi brothers to deliver a truck bomb to a target in Najaf. Unfortunately he was spotted by US forces and wasn’t close enough to do more than scorch some parked cars and topple a market stall. Our brave martyr was killed and blown 120 feet into the air and landed on the hood of an Iraqi ambulance. The paramedics didn’t know he was a martyr and, after almost five minutes, revived him.
When our Iraqi brother opened his eyes he was possessed as if by poisonous demons with terrible screams and heresy that would offend all Islamic jurisprudence. They restrained him and drove to the hospital where he was admitted and sedated. After several calls we learned of his survival. Our Brother Abu Abdul went to the hospital to see whether our blessed martyr could be transferred before American forces captured him. After visiting the hospital, Brother Abdul delivered this report:
I have visited our martyred brother. He was wide-eyed and afraid of the sweet perfume of martyrdom. I asked him to be still but he would not rest. He spoke and I listened.Our Martyred Brother said that after speaking with our Imam, a taxi delivered him to the truck, which he drove to the targeted area. As he approached, Iraqi police fired upon and disabled the truck far from the target.
When our Martyred Brother released the trigger mechanism, he felt a bright flash that filled him with a light brighter than one ever imagined. He was filled with peace and floated in a great white bliss for what seemed many years.
A lorry of gold appeared and a driver wearing a flowing saffron robe wished blessings and welcomed him to Paradise. Again, he said he felt a peace he’d never known before. He rode on pillows to a palace as big as the sky of exquisite splendor. Jasmine filled the air and the driver told him that seventy-two virgins expected him with inexpressible desire.He again said that the air, the splendor, the white light and a sense of peace had conspired in him to charge passions that he had not seemed imaginable. He shook uncontrollably from weakness and desire for his eternal reward.
A magnificent guard brought him to a great room of banquets, pillows, cushions, candles, and dozens of men. He leaned to one and asked when he would meet the seventy-two virgins. The man smiled and said that he and his seventy-two virgin brothers had been waiting for him.
As realization dawned on him, he was set upon in a frenzied, intrusive, and personal way. It was at this moment that he was revived by the paramedics and driven to the hospital.
At this point, our Martyred Brother begged me to locate a priest and spoke of baptism, Christ, and other blasphemies that are too offensive to repeat for Islamic jurisprudence or this report. I killed our martyred brother before he could offend others.
Several weeks have passed and Brother Abdul has not returned. Others have disappeared and many members of the Holy Jihad Martyr Brigade have called in sick or asked for transfers. The sweet perfume of martyrdom is no longer as fragrant as it once was.
Our only hope is that our Americans Brothers in the Democratic Party and the media will convince the American scorpions to surrender as the Franco and Spanish heretics have done.
Awaiting your response, may God preserve you as keys to good and reserves for Islam and its people. Peace and the mercy and blessings of God be upon you.
And Death to America!
A. Zarqawi
Cross-posted at ex-Liberal in Hollywood