Helping Osama Keep His Promise
Osama bid Laden, patriarch of Islamo-Fascism and Global Terrorism, Inc, has a New Year’s resolution he wants the entire world to know about: Namely, OBL has vowed to never be captured alive.
Given the fact that the tallest man in the Democrat Party has eluded U.S. and coalition forces for four plus years, the big guy’s vow looks like a good bet.
But just in case, OBL, herewith a couple of helpful hints:
1. Move to Mexico and illegally cross the border into America whenever the mood strikes you. There is absolutely NO border security, and border patrol agents will not bother you IF you wear your traditional Arabic garb. Some foolishness about “profiling” has the poor devils handcuffed and impotent.
Under no circumstances should you shave your beard or dress in an American-style business suit. Do that, and you will be arrested immediately and shoved into the slammer without bail.
2. Wait until after Hillary Clinton is elected U.S. president in 2008. Once she has taken office, you will be free to come and go as you damned well please. Why? Because Hillary will most likely follow her husband’s stupid policy and refuse to arrest you. Something about burdensome paperwork and legalities, blah blah blah.
I know you are registered to vote as a Democrat in 2008. Remember to take your absentee ballot to the nearest Democrat cave in your neighborhood. Do this ASAP as they will start collecting ballots next week, and you will get a new ballot every week.
John W Lillpop is a recovering liberal who has been “clean and sober” since 1992 when he last voted for a Democrat. He resides in the San Francisco Bay Area, the only place on earth where Nancy Pelosi and Barbara Boxer are considered sane and intelligent.
Publisher’s note: We do not believe the election of Hillary is a foregone conclusion. And the mere thought of it sends chills. We’re keeping an active eye on 2008, and the battle will soon begin in earnest. In the meantime, let’s have some laughs.