California Conservative

What’s all the controversy about? You decide.

The S.F. Chronicle reveals their opinion with the headline: “The 49ers’ Embarrassing Training Tape”

Because we found the videos so harmless, we’ve transcribed them here for your reading pleasure. In transcript form, they are also easier to study, for purposes of evaluating the merit of the criticisms. We’ve included our comments.

The Chronicle created (8) segments from the original training tape. They read as follows:

(Note: For companion article, see “49ers: Political Correctness Gains Yardage“)

Segment 1 of 8:
Chronicle describes: “Former 49ers public relations director Kirk Reynolds enters S.F. City Hall. Inside the mayor’s office, Reynolds looks up over a doctored copy of the Chronicle (with Reynolds’ face pasted over a picture of Gavin Newsom). Reynolds introduces himself as the mayor and invites team members to accompany him on a tour of the city.”

Our take: Very clever premise. Gets the viewer’s attention, and creates an interest to hear what he has to say next.

Transcript:

[Camera zooms in to fake newspaper clips of 49er headlines; Reynolds sitting in big leather chair at Gavin's desk; reading newspaper, camera zooms onto an actual past photo of Gavin Newsom and ex-wife Kimberly Guilfoyle lounging together on oriental rug in the Getty mansion; as a gag, Reynold's photo is visibly pasted over over Gavin's face]

Renynolds [Putting down paper]: I tell ya, it’s good to be the mayor.

[Pause]

Hey, guys. I know you’re used to seeing me at 49ers headquarters, but things have changed. And I’m sure you’re going to appreciate this.

Because we ask you, every year, if you were commissionar for the day, or president for the day, what would you do?

Well, I’m Mayor of San Francisco.

It’s a beautiful, diverse, tremendous city. And it requires a tremendous amount of attention, and focus, hard work. I’m the perfect guy for the job.

I’m going to take you through a day…I’m going take you thru the city…I’m going to show you what it’s like to be Mayor of San Francisco. And while we drive thru the town, I’ll have a few tips on how to deal with the media.

Veterans: You guys have heard this before. But it’s always good to hear it again.

[Leans forward; looks straight into camera]

And rookies: You need to pay attention, and grasp what we’re talking about because it’s very important.

So, follow me. [Rises from chair]

Let’s go thru this great city of San Francisco. We’ll show you what it’s like to be mayor of the great city of San Francisco.

[Exits]

Segment 2 of 8:
Chronicle describes: “On a sidewalk in Chinatown, Reynolds-as-mayor asks a man walking past him (played by former 49ers trainer George Chung) to help him read an Asian language newspaper. Note: clip contains racial stereotyping and suggestive language.”

Our take: If an Asian playing up a heavy accent is considered “racial stereotyping,” than political correctness seeks to obscure reality. In San Francisco’s historical “China Town,” most merchants and pedestrians do speak with heavy accents and broken english (if any at all). That’s just the way it is. Some might even say, that’s part of the diversity.

Poking a little fun at our cultural differences (as many famous “minority” comedians do) is no more racist than pointing out that the majority of China Town merchants provide bright pink plastic bags that say “Thank you” on them. That’s fact.

Furthermore, Reynold’s comedic exchange with Chung is clever word play — ad libbed by Chung, no less. PG-13 rating, and very funny material.

Transcript:

Reynolds: “Hey, guys. [Stops in front of restuarant] I tell ya, the one great thing about “Joe” is that not only can you go in there and get tremendous, authentic Chinese food, but they have great reading material that you can pick up. And that brings me to my next point.

[Camera pulls back, showing Reynolds holding a dozen newspapers]

I want you guys to keep in mind that we read everything, and we pay attention to everything. And we want you to pay attention, too.

So, if you hear or see anything that is factually inaccurate, written about you, said about you, or written about the team: let us know about it. We need to keep track of that so that we can, y’know, talk to the media about it.

We don’t want you getting into a pissing match with the media; we’ll handle that.

So, if you hear of anything factually inaccurate, let us know about it.

You know, we read everything. [Starts thumbing thru papers] San Jose Mercury News, S.F. Chronicle, S.F. Weekly, Sports Illustrated, Sporting News. We read everything, even some of these Chinese materials. [Opens unknown paper]

We want to keep up on everything that is written about you guys.

[Looking at Chinese paper, quips] Where is Jeff Tanaka when you need him?

Excuse me, sir. [Stops man walking past, played by former 49ers trainer George Chung] Could you possibly translate this for us? These are sports headlines, aren’t they?

Chinese man [using heavy accent]: Oh, of course. I’d be happy to read this one. Says, sport news 49er.

Reynolds: Perfect. That’s exactly what we’re looking for.

Chung: You like 49er? I love 49er. You know Joe Montana?

Reynolds: I’ve met Joe, yes.

Chung: Yes, Joe wants to sign my balls.

[Reynolds nods, and both men chuckle]

Chung: Ok, so you want me to read this for you?

Reynolds: Please.

Chung: I read this, okay. Okay. This one’s called: 49er training camp. Uhh…Tim Rattay…uh…is a good…he feel good now…and not practice first with team. He no practice with team.

Reynolds: That’s right.

Chung [continues reading]: So, most of time he…uh…play with himself.

Reynolds [nods]: Well, that would explain the sore forearm, I guess.

Chung: Yes, yes. And this one say: 49er give…uh…very active in the community.

Reynolds: Yes, they are.

Chung: They love community. They very patriotic. You know patriotic? [Holds hand to heart and sings] “Oh, say can you see…” Yes. [Continues reading] They say: We are American, and we support President Bush and his…erection. [Reynolds biting lip]

Reynolds: Erection?

Chung: Yes. Erection. If you like Bush…then you like erection.

Reynolds: Well, that’s probably true, too.

Chung [pointing to paper]: Oh, this one, last one, very good. Says Andre Carter. Everybody like Andre Carter. They like Andre Carter because of his…uh…sack.

[Reynolds fighting laughter]

They love his sack.

Reynolds: He’s got a tremendous sack.

Chung: Yes, and everyone love his sack so much, they say, we love Andre for his sack. So, I guess I love his sack…you love his sack.

Reynolds: We all love his sack.

Chung: That’s a wonderful person.

Reynolds: Thank you very much.

Chung [very excited]: My name is…uh…Suck. Yes. [Men shake hands] My brother is a Suck Young…I’m a Suck Tung [Laughing]…Everybody in my family is a Suck.

Reynolds: I’m sorry to laugh.

Chung: That’s ok. Thank you. I go to Joe.

Reynolds [serious to camera]: So, like we said, we read everything. Keep it in mind. If you see anything factually inaccurate, let us know.

[Fade out]

Segment 3 of 8:
Chronicle describes: “In a sendup of same-sex marriages, Reynolds presides over a mock wedding between two women staged inside the Mitchell Brothers theater on O’Farrell Street in San Francisco. [Nudity has been deliberately blurred by Chronicle staff]“

Our take: As Seinfeld proves, the finest art of comedy is playing upon life’s amusing and annoying realities. Mayor Gavin Newsom opened the door to ridicule by breaking the law and promoting gay marriages. It’s fair game for Reynolds or anyone else to use, and there’s nothing wrong with a little playful exaggeration for humor and impact. Furthermore, it’s not very tolerant of homosexuals to criticize Reynolds’ right to artistic freedom. After all, the popular show “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” focuses on the stereotype the straight males don’t have any sense of style. No complaints heard there.

As for the Chronicle editing the video ( “nudity has been deliberately blurred”), it seems ironic. Critics are taking issue (and suggesting offense) that a little topless action is too much for public viewing. However, these same people have no problem with broadcasting San Francisco’s annual gay “Pride Parade” or “Polk Street Faire,” where gays/lesbians/transgenders prance and preen in various ways that many might find objectionable.

Transcript:

Reynolds: You know, the courts have said we can’t do this, but like my predecessor [Mayor Willie Brown], ‘We make our own rules here in San Francisco.’

[Turns to two scantily-dressed girls]

Do you two love each other?

Girls: We do.

Reynolds: Do you intend to love and cherish each other for the rest of your lives?

Girls: We do.

Reynolds: Then show me.

[Girls embrace, and begin to kiss each other]

Reynolds: Well, that’ll do it.

[Giggling girls fall to floor, continue to kiss]

I pronounce you ‘life partners.’

[Camera pans away, close up on Reynolds]

As you guys learned in diversity training, people have different lifestyles.

You may have a family member or a co-worker with a different lifestyle.

Embrace diversity. Embrace it.

[Turning to two football players, smiling and holding roses, walking up to stage]

Who’s next?

[Fade out]

Segment 4 of 8:
Chronicle describes: “Back out on the street, Reynolds tells a beggar (played by Julian Peterson) to “get a job.” At SBC Park, the ersatz mayor emphasizes the importance of giving interviews to the local media, then throws out the first pitch. Afterward, the catcher thanks him for supporting “hookers and booze.”

Our take: In this segment, Reynolds emphasizes the importance of “taking care of the locals”; the media. That intro featuring the panhandler (as they’re commonly known in San Francisco) is actually a play on the fact that Julian Peterson just wrapped up a million-dollar contract negotiation, having refused to play until it was done. There’s nothing racist about it. If you didn’t get it, remember: It was a video for the players.

Finally, the smack talk with the mayor was nothing but that: Just a little over-the-top humor to keep the player’s attention. They mayor shouldn’t be upset over this, because it obviously a gag. However, if Gavin’s feathers are ruffled, there’s an old saying: If the shoe fits, wear it.

Transcript:

[Reynolds walking to ball park]

Reynolds: Follow me to the next stop…

Panhandler [played by Julian Peterson, shaking change cup]: Hey, Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor. Can I get some change?

[Reynolds drops a coin]

Reynolds: Why don’t you get a job, ok?

[Camera zooms in on panhandler's sign: "Will Tackle for Cash"]

Panhandler: I’ll try to.

[Reynolds standing in Pac Bell park]

Reynolds: Ok, now, as mayor, sometimes we have some civic duties that we got to take care of. So, I’ve got to get to that. But right now I’m gonna make a point:

One of the points that we really need to stress to you guys is that you need to focus on your games.

So, with that in mind, we will handle all of your scheduling, your media scheduling.

We set up your interviews and that type of thing, so that you guys can focus on the games and not worry about when this thing’s happening or when that’s happening. We’ll do those things in advance so that you have notice.

The other thing, important thing is: You gotta take care of your locals.

We have eight beat writers. We have five local television stations. We have a plethora of columnists. We have talk radio in town.

The things that ESPN picks up, the things that all the magazines pick up: those are from local stories that they see.

So, let’s take care of the locals; national stuff will come after that.

So, remember that. And we’ll handle your scheduling. We’ll take care of that.

Now, listen, I got throw out the first pitch; my civic duty.

[After throw, catcher runs up to mound]

Catcher: Mr. Mayor, it’s an honor to meet you, sir. And I’m a big fan.

Let’s keep up with those policies: booze and hookers. It’s the best.

[Reynolds fighting smile; catcher reaches into his back pocket, pulls out dollar bill and hands it to Reynolds]

And if you can, keep me out of trouble.

Reynolds: You got it, big man.

[Fade out]

Segment 5 of 8:
Chronicle describes: “At a Santa Clara jail, Reynolds talks about what team members should do in the event they are arrested. It concludes with a “prisoner” played by linebacker Jeff Ulbrich being shoved into a cell by a pair of uniformed guards.”

Our take: Reynold does an excellent job depicting what is one of the most important lessons for players: If you get busted by police, act respectably and responsibly. Acting up only makes things worse. That’s solid advice.

Transcript:

[Reynolds walking into jail area]

Reynolds: Alright guys, we’re at the Hall of Justice.

I’m down here now, y’know, to take care of a few tickets. But once I get threw with those, everything will be good.

But it brings me to my next point:

If you ever find yourself in a crisis situation, getting in trouble with the law, or whatever: lean on us.

The media is going to cover that kind of stuff; we can provide advice, information; lean on us.

So, just remember, if you’re ever in a situation…

[Enter guy in cuffs, escorted by police, resisting and yelling profanities]

Inmate: What the fuck? You got the fuckin’ wrong guy. It wasn’t me…

[Wrestling with police as they put him into jail cell]

Reynolds: Well, I’ll tell you what not to do: Don’t drop the soap.

[Police lock door, saying "Keep it down"]

[Fade out]

Segment 6 of 8:
Chronicle describes: “The expletives are plentiful when “mayor” Reynolds is heckled while conducting a mock TV interview beside a KPIX-TV news van.”

Our take: Sometimes the best lesson is one by example. While emphasizing the critical importance for players to keep their “composure” at all times when dealing with the media and the public, Reynolds uses the tool of contrast to make the point. By depicting an over-the-top reaction to a heckler, which includes trading vulgarities, Reynolds shows how ridiculous a player would look on film if they did the same thing. It gets a few laughs from players, we’re sure. But the message is clear: Don’t embarass yourself or the team by behaving like a jackass.

Transcript:

[Standing in front of news van just before an interview]

Reynolds: Now one of my jobs as mayor is, obviously, dealing with the media. Much like you guys do; dealing with the media every day.

So, one of the things you gotta keep in mind is: keeping you composure when dealing with the media, especially after a game when you get asked the same question over, and over, and over.

You know, keep your composure. Keep your poise. Don’t lose your cool. We don’t want Ryan Leaf in our locker room. We can’t have a situation like that.

It’ll ruin your reputation. It’ll damage the team. Your team mates will get asked questions about it.

So, remember, just keep your composure when dealing with the media. It’s very, very important.

Now, I gotta do an interview here with KPIX…

[Mock interview]

Reynolds: Y’know, I’m doing great. It’s a gorgeous day in this great city; I love being out on the streets meeting the people. People of this great city, they’re so important. I love them. I love every body.

Reporter: What’s the most important thing of being mayor?

[Asked question, but Reynolds interrupted by heckler saying, "Hey mayor, you suck!"]

Reynolds: It’s getting your arms around everything…and really getting a pulse for the city and the people, and what they’re looking for. Y’know, it’s so important to know what the people really want…

Reporter: What do you love about the job?

[Another heckler drives by, yells: Hey, Reynolds, you jackass. You suck!]
[A pedestrians shows up, yelling: You liberal [inaudible]…fuck…]

Reynolds [provoked]: What are you talking about?

Heckler: You welfare [inaudible]…

Reynolds: Fuck you.

Heckler: You want a piece of me?

Reynolds: Fuck you..

Heckler: That’s all you got. You want a piece of me. Come on, let’s go.

[Exchange a few more vulgarities; everyone laughing. Fade out]

Segment 7 of 8:
Chronicle describes: “At an expensive restaurant Reynolds dines sumptuously on caviar and champagne, then laughs about the tab being paid by the taxpayers.”

Our take: This segment provides an important message to players: Everything you do and say is covered by the media. Watch your behavior and watch your words. Given some of the past problems with players acting out, this point is valuable. By making fun of the mayor’s expensive taste and the fact that taxpayers pay for the city’s bills, Reynolds merely uses political satire to keep the viewer’s attention. It’s effective.

Transcript:

[Reynolds sitting at table with bottle and maritini glass visible, sipping a glass of champagne]

Reynolds [smirking]: Gotta eat some place, fellas.

A little champagne. Nice meal.

That brings me to my next point — we have a minute while I wait for the bill: I want you guys to keep something in mind.

[Looking straight into camera and very seriously]

You need to be responsible for your actions, and you need to be mindful of your team mates.

Remember, the National Football League is the most highly-visible sport on the planet. Everything you do and say is covered by the media.

So be careful of what you say, and what you do.

If you do something controversial, say something controversial, it will have an impact on this team. Your teammates will have to answer questions about it.

Remember T.O.? [Referring to Terrill Owens]

So, remember, be mindful of your actions, be mindful of your teammates. You don’t want to do anything that’s going to impact the team in a negative way.

And also remember: What you do and what you say is not only a reflection of yourself, it’s also a reflection of the San Francisco 49ers.

So, be professional. After all, this is professional football.

[Waiter enters frame]

Waiter: Here’s your bill, Mr. Mayor.

Reynolds: Thank you. [Looks at bill]

Whoa! A little bigger than normal, eh?

Waiter: It was probably the champagne and the Beluga caviar.

Reynolds [Signing for bill]: Well, Mayor’s gotta eat. But y’know what…

[biting his lip]

This one is on the taxpayers.

[Fade out]

Segment 8 of 8:
Chronicle describes: “Reynolds steps out of a shower as a buxom blonde steps in. He reminds players that there will be women in the locker room so they should wear a towel and behave professionally toward them.”

Our take: Dealing with the fact that women reporters are allowed into the men’s locker room (a practice which some might find arguable), Reynolds communicates the message seriously: be professional at all times. However, since he’s also using this last segment for a wrap-up of all the other points made, there’s a little playfulness included: girls. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Reynolds appealing to his all-male audience with a little fun. His end goal: Make sure they watch, listen and learn. It works.

Transcription:

[Blonde enters frame, pulling shower curtain aside, exposing Reynolds waist-up]

Blonde: Ok, you gonna hog that thing all day, or what?

[Reynolds steps out; blonde starts showering behind him]

Reynolds: Hey, guys, this brings up an important point: There are women in the locker room.

There are women in the locker room, so grab a towel, put it on, and cover up.

[Wrapping towel around waist]

You want to be composed when you’re dealing with women in the locker room. It’s a professional courtesy involved.

Y’know, when you’re doing your interviews in the locker room and you’re fresh out of the shower, you can do them as you are; put on a towel, or get dressed.

But it’s up to you. You determine when you want to do your interviews in the locker room.

[Reynolds enters locker room; three girls with backs to him are primping in the mirror]

That brings us to our final moment here. I want to kind of reiterate the points that we’ve made today. Okay.

First of all, don’t get into a pissing match with the media. You can’t win that.

If you see anything that is factually inaccurate, let us know about it and we’ll take care of it.

If you find yourself in a crisis, we’re here to help you. Lean on us, that’s what we’re here for.

Take care of your local media. They’re the guys that write the most impressions about you, and they cover you every single day.

Keep your composure. It’s very important. You don’t want that negative publicity that comes with losing your cool.

Diversity. Diversity is what makes this country great. Embrace diversity. Embrace differences. Watch what you say when you’re talking about that.

Be responsible for your actions. Everything you do and say is being covered by the media. Terrell Owens just found that out recently.

Everything you say is being covered; what you do and say is not only a reflection of yourself, it’s also a reflection of the San Francisco 49ers.

And remember also: there are women in the locker room. Be professional. Put on a towel, whatever. But be professional when dealing with women in the locker room.

I hope you enjoyed hanging out with me. Found out what it’s like to be mayor for a day.

You follow these points, guys, and everything is going to be just fine.

Everything will be okay.

[Girls turn to Reynolds, topless, put arms around him]

Girl: Okay, Mr. Mayor, tell us about your happy ending…

[Group hug, some kisses, and giggling. Reynolds, seemingly bashful]

Reynolds: You guys are great, thanks.

[Fade out]

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 7th, 2005 at 7:22 am and is filed under Culture, Liberals, Media, San Francisco, Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.