Senate Votes English Official Muffin of Congress

Keeping a watchful eye out for irony, Scott Ott seizes the opportunity for satire:

(2006-05-19) — Just hours after approving two amendments that would make English the “national language” of the U.S. without affecting any of the millions of government documents now printed in Spanish, the Senate today voted 58-39 to declare English “the official muffin of Congress.”

“With lots of nooks and crannies to hold the melted butter,” the new amendment reads, “the English muffin has come to symbolize the glory of the Congressional lawmaking process.”

While conservative critics noted that “the English muffin is not a muffin at all in the traditional sense,” a coalition of Democrats and progressive Republicans managed to push the measure through.

When asked what effect the amendments would have on President George Bush’s comprehensive immigration reform proposal, one unnamed Senate Republican said simply, “Toast. Rye toast.”

RELATED:
Senate Approves English as ‘National’ Language

One Response to “Senate Votes English Official Muffin of Congress”

  1. carter Says:

    that is hilarious

    bringing it down a few notches,

    something not so hilarious

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