Hillary Solves Illegal Immigration Crisis
Continuing coverage of illegal immigration, Scott Ott reports:
(2006-03-27)  After a House-passed illegal immigration bill sparked massive protest rallies in Los Angeles and elsewhere over the weekend, Senator Hillary Clinton today introduced legislation that would grant all illegal aliens a new, “less judgmental†status.
“My plan will help pre-legal Americans escape the unfair stigma that’s placed on them just because they broke the law,†said Sen. Clinton, who last week criticized the House bill which she said “would literally criminalize the Good Samaritan and probably even Jesus himself.â€Â
Sen. Clinton, wearing her ‘WWJD?’ bracelet (the acronym means What Would Jesus Do?), said her bill would make it a felony for employers or border patrol agents to discriminate against people who have not yet been granted immunity or guest worker status.
Filed: Truth in humor.
Publisher’s Note: Scott Ott is a satirical author. This story is not real, but intended for entertainment purposes. The fact that it seems factual makes it even funnier.
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Jesus, Mary & Hillary
March 27th, 2006 at 4:45 pm
She really is completely out of her mind.
March 27th, 2006 at 4:57 pm
“My plan will help pre-legal Americans escape the unfair stigma that’s placed on them just because they broke the law”
You’ve got to be kidding me. ‘Pre-legal’? Stigma? What is she talking about? The stigma of ‘illegal’ comes from the very fact that they broke the law!
March 27th, 2006 at 5:39 pm
Children of illegals should not be granted citizenship. Because the work ethics of an immigrant and someone who is born here is different. The immigrant looks at work as a privilege while the citizen will look at it as his basic right, even if he is uneducated and lazy, he would blame the government for not taking care of him.
Already we have gang bangers who would rather get rich by stealing and selling drugs to get rich faster than actually work harder to attain the wealth as they see on TV.
The children of illegals must be exposed to their native nation’s poverty. Look at them now, instead of attending schools, they parade in front of us taxpayers as if we cant do anything about them since they are this part of large ignorant people.
Why would we turn these lazy ’students” to citizens when everywhere in the world there are professionals, already skilled and talented waiting to be legal immigrants here.
We have to protect our people first. They have to think of another way to “improve their lives” Instead of joining together here to question our laws, why dont they join together in their country to question their lawmakers who break their laws.
I am an immigrant myself, legal. I chose to come here, not to UK, not to Mexico because US have laws. Please dont tell me that just because they are here, you will be changing laws now.
March 27th, 2006 at 5:51 pm
I’m so angry that children of illegals are entitled to the same rights as I am and then basically give us the finger and tell us it’s not enough. This effort will back-fire on them. My advice, keep marching south on the 5 Fwy until you get to Mexico, cross the border and don’t come back until you can treat the US with the respect it deserves.
PS: I graduated HS in 1982. I’ve mowed lawns, cleaned houses, worked in amusement parks and fast food restaurants. Why? Because I had too. It wasn’t below me, it was a paycheck and good training.
March 27th, 2006 at 6:58 pm
Pre-legal? Stigma? How ’bout Hillaryous is “macho” by the definition my wife and I have decided it means: “stupid”.
As far as the children go, I believe the Constitution says that if one is born within the borders of our nation, they are automatically citizens. So, where does it say a citizen is required to live within our borders? Let the little darlin’s go back to wherever with their parent(s), live to the ripe old age of 18, then come back through (with proper identification). Or, they could live with a LEGAL relative until their parent(s) come back legally. Doesn’t make any difference to me, as long as those CRIMINALS are sent packing.
What is Hillaryous doing being a lawmaker? She obviously doesn’t understand the meaning of the word “law”, or “illegal”, or “criminal”. She doesn’t even understand “stigma”. If she did, she’d never show her face in public again because of the hi-jinks she and her wandering husband committed while he was, at least nominally, president.
March 27th, 2006 at 8:34 pm
Comment 1, 2, 5, please reread Publisher’s note. It was a joke on Hillary. Who’s stupid now?
March 28th, 2006 at 1:02 pm
Elizabeth: Please refer to Hillaryous’ speech of last week, where she referred to the Samaritan and Jesus. She was in fact berating the “criminality” of making ILLEGALS criminals, and yes, I read the publisher’s note.
I don’t find anything in my post that doesn’t apply to Hillaryous as she is, not as she’s portrayed in this great post. #1’s could be pretty much just a comment on Hillaryous, too.
She (Hillaryous) is, to be polite, what used to be kindly called “jest a little tetched”.
March 30th, 2006 at 9:47 am
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