OJ Simpson’s Hypothetical Cell Mate Writes Book About How He Would Hypothetically Rape Him
The shocking news that O.J. Simpson is going public with a book and interview about how he could have hypothetically killed Nicole Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman in 1995 has drawn scorn and revulsion from many who are convinced the former football star is benefitting financially from a murder he actually did commit.
And in another strange twist, TNOYF has learned that a prisoner at the California State Penetentiary, Cletis Tallywhacker, is penning a short novela about how he would have hypothetically raped O.J. Simpson if he had been his hypothetical cellmate.
Simpson’s Novel is titled If I Did It while Tallywhacker’s book is called If I Could Get Me Some Hall Of Fame Running Back Booty.
According to prison officials, Tallywhacker has long been obsessed with Simpson, and killed several other prisoners in rage when O.J. was acquitted and his hopes for intimacy with him were dashed. They are hoping that the book is an outlet.
“There’s no harm in our prisoners playing out their fantasies in writing,” said Prison Warden Hal Souder. “And I’m thrilled that Mr. Tallywhacker has accurately depicted our guards ignoring Mr. Simpson’s pleas for help. Hypothetically, of course.”
UPDATE: (11/20)
Michelle Malkin reports OJ is “out of juice..”
BREAKING: FOX cancels the interview (oh happy day!)
Cross-posted by satirical blogger, Potfry