This section will feature all items of a humorous nature as related to anything we find funny, and hope you will, too.

Breaking from conventional wisdom, chief political satirist Scott Ott offers this prediction:

(2006-11-07) — As Americans went to the polls this morning, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-CA, announced that if Democrats don’t achieve a “clear, immediate, overwhelming victory” in the House and the Senate, she will lead them in a “responsible redeployment” from Congress.

“We don’t want to get tied up here for years in a sectarian battle that we can’t win,” Rep. Pelosi said. “Either we get what we want now, or we cut our losses and return to our home states.”

The woman who would be Speaker of the House if Democrats win the majority today, rejected critics who said her remarks were “just another example of cut and run from the Democrats.”

“When you’re in a quagmire,” she said, “with a long history of bitter partisan tensions, it’s foolish to think that if you stay just a little longer you can fix it. The smart and brave thing to do is get out of there”

A White House spokesman said President George W. Bush today offered the same advice to Rep. Pelosi and her colleagues that he’s offered about their strategy all year: “Stay the course.”

While John Kerry enjoys the taste of foot from his air conditioned office and private plane, our troops, in harms way, still manage to show a sense of humor.

Cross-posted at The Gentle Cricket

ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT observations from Dennis Miller!

(H/T Dick McDonald)

Scott Ott’s been my favorite satirist for quite some time. Today’s post is simply the best I’ve ever seen. Here’s what got me laughing uncontrollably:

Standing with the California lawmaker at a news conference, Rep. Murtha, a former Marine, unveiled what he called “our new Democrat vision for Iraq to become a country that can defend, sustain and govern itself, a country which will serve as an ally in this war on terror. We got to thinking, Nancy and me, that the old Democrat vision of a U.S. pullout would have created a safe haven and base of operations for al Qaeda to launch its global jihad,” said Rep. Murtha. “and it would have sent a message to those seeking freedom in the Arab world that we think they don’t deserve to be free or can’t govern themselves democratically.”
Asked whether this new position wouldn’t just play into the hands of Republicans three weeks before a national election, a clearly agitated Rep. Pelosi said, “We’re talking about a global conflict that threatens our civilization, and you’re asking about politics?”

Mr. Ott should know that Democrats wouldn’t play politics with national security. That simply isn’t their modus operandi. It isn’t like they’ve leaked classified documents like the NIE. It isn’t like Murtha’s convicting the Haditha Marines in the court of public opinion was a poliltical ploy.

You won’t regret reading the entire post. I’ll guarantee it.

Technorati Tags: Election 2006, Murtha, Pelosi, Scrappleface

Cross-posted at LetFreedomRingBlog

Or before someone gets beheaded.

“Jews and Christians have gotten used to this kind of thing, but Muslims haven’t,” he said. “This may not be his intention, but these things have consequences.”

[Disclaimer: Contains some strong language, not suitable for those easily offended by the truth spoken without the dressing of euphemism, or for Islamic fascists intolerant to any dissent]

The founder of DashboardMohammed.com writes:

So apparently I’m now the “bad guy.”

I’m not really sure how that goes, but according to the radio and print journalists that have been calling me lately following my press release, I should know that people will end up killing each other over this Dashboard Mohammed. Hmm…

It’s a FUCKING TOY! In addition to that, it’s not even a very GOOD toy! It’s clever, sure. High-quality, of course! But you can’t throw it down the stairs like a Slinky and expect it to survive.

People, get over yourselves if you think that I’m in any way intimidated by the fact that this TOY will earn me the wrath of the entire Muslim nation. Hell, the few Muslim friends that I have (due only to the fact that there aren’t many over here in Hawaii chilling out with us) thought the fucking thing was worth at least a chuckle. Get off your high horses, media whores. Why don’t you go out on the streets and ask Muslims what they think about it, before the shit hits the fan. Oh…. Not good ratings that way, eh? I couldn’t really care less. I think it’s funny, the several hundred people who’ve ordered it think it’s funny, and no, humor is not international.

Read the full rant.

Michelle Malkin offers more coverage, and more reports of indignation. Here’s a question to ask yourself.

We say: Stock up on this playful stocking stuffer. Christmas is only a few months away. Ho! Ho! Ho!

If you think a bobblehead deserves a beheading*, maybe your religion is not so peaceful. Period.

UPDATE: (10/2)
Osama gives his endorsement
(not really, but still funny)

RELATED:
Death To America?

Democrats have unleashed a new tool against Republicans… Are we ready for it?

UPDATE:
Democrats Stuck on ‘New Direction’ in Iraq?

“Willie Nelson and four others were issued misdemeanor citations for possession of narcotic mushrooms and marijuana after a traffic stop Monday morning on a Louisiana highway, state police said.”

That’s news?

No spin.

As only Scott Ott could report:

(2006-08-14) — As part of its ongoing crackdown on internal dissent, the Islamic Republic of Iran today briefly shut down a weblog recently launched by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Sources close to the Council of Guardians that oversees the government said the Ahmadinejad blog turned up on a Google search of Iranian-based blogs that mention the Iranian president, triggering the standard shut-down order.

A spokesman for Mr. Ahmadinejad said he fully supports the Council’s efforts “to ensure that public discourse is pure and unadulterated by unauthorized free speech.”

“The Council, as always, did the right thing,” according to a statement from the president’s office. “I’m just glad my blog is back online in time to receive the prophesied InstaLanche.”

Well, he’s still not getting on our blogroll…

The fact that Saddam was capable of using chemical weapons against his own people is proof he is a megalomaniac. Saddam was also the type of leader that had no qualms executing anyone that took an opposing position to his. One final facet giving a VVS clarity to this gem of a megalomaniac is, well, read on:

So you read, from this FMSO document, that Saddam’s idea was to enshrine hairs from his mustache, right? And, this letter is to be written on solid gold! (without the dancers - you’d have to have lived in the ’80s, people)

Oh, right, you didn’t know how his “cookie crumb duster” was to be kept safe from the elements and thieves so read on:

(continue reading post »)