The following letter was written sent to the Los Angeles GLBT Community Center by a friend. He and his partner are gay. Along with their parents and extended family, they will vote Yes on Proposition 8.
Here’s why.
We are two men in our mid-40s living in Los Angeles County. We have been in a committed relationship since October of 1996. We have no plans to get married and we believe our domestic partnership papers are sufficient to protect our rights. The recent ballot measure about gay marriage has prompted this letter from two-otherwise reasonable people in our community.
Growing up as a boy, I (John) was raised in small rural, San Joaquin Valley town just south of Stockton, CA. I am the oldest of four boys; I was raised on a dairy farm and attended the same schools that my mother and father attended. We had many of the same teachers. My mother and father have been married for 47 years.
My three brothers and I were raised in a “born again” Christian home, just like my nine aunts and uncles, by my grandparents who lived down the dirt road. In 1984, I left home and joined the LAPD. Now retired after 23 years of service, I still live in Los Angeles County. A lot has changed since I left home.
In June, 1991, I came out of the closet publicly, on CNN, after (the Rodney King arrest). To say this public announcement caused my family hardship is an understatement. I did not talk with my father for over 3 years and during one argument we were on the verge of physical violence and nearly went to blows.
Thank God we worked things out.
Today and since 1996, my parents gladly welcome my domestic partner Robert into their home. We have slept together in my parents’ home, they sat next to him at my retirement party in June, and my father has encouraged us to adopt children. I have nothing but respect and love for my mother and father.
My three younger brothers all got married and had kids.
I am the only gay child.
When my brother lost his wife to a massive stroke in 2007, I was the first person they called for help - John the cop – the gay brother from LA.
When another brother lost his wife after a long illness this year, I was the first person called for help during the crises. My deceased sister-in-law and brother are loyal born-again Christians, yet my partner and I have been welcomed into their home. I felt it an utter privilege to speak publicly at my sister-in-law’s funeral and publicly applaud her loving personality.
Before my presentation, my mom made a simple request of me: “Please don’t mention Robert as your domestic partner – it will offend a lot of people in the church.”
I warmly smiled, hugged my mom, and said, “Sure thing Mom, no problem.”
I was glad she made this request because my desire to honor my loving sister-in-law was more important than some shitty “politically correct” gay term.
By now, I am certain militant people in the GLBT community are screaming and yelling at the notion I would give in to such a request. People like this in our community just don’t get the meaning of the word tolerance.
My partner, Robert, was raised in a Catholic home. His large family from Mexico remains strongly tied to their Catholic upbringing. Robert’s mother would attend mass two and three times a day if she could drive to the church.
She never learned how to drive.
While our relationship has never been openly discussed, his family has NEVER-EVER acted in an unkind way towards me. Most of the time they take steps - overt steps to include me into their family’s activities. Yes, they know we sleep together, but our relationship is a non-issue with them.
Now that Prop 8 has come up, various people in our circle of family and friends have been asking lots of questions to us about the ads they see on TV. One topic that has come up multiple times in my conversations is the image of the ultra anti-Catholic Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, whose mockery of Christianity is legend in not only the gay community but mainstream society.
Above, two “Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence” in their Catholic-mocking garb and make-up are photographed attending a mass offered by San Francisco Archbishiop George Niederauer, in the Most Holy Redeemer Catholic Church.
As a gay man, I am well aware of their community activism and their fundraising. However, these good deeds are over shadowed by their continuous goading tactics of the religious community. It’s kind of like when a cop gets caught beating the crap out a suspect – nobody ever cares that he was a Medal of Valor winner.
The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence have long made a practice of mocking the Catholic Church in general and religious women (nuns) in particular.
I find this type of action deeply offensive and disrespectful. Can someone from my own damn community explain how I can “justify” this type of behavior to my family, friends, or my partner’s Catholic family? While many in San Francisco and West Hollywood (and certainly the Sisters themselves) finds this amusing, my family, my partner’s family, and others do not.
My family lives only 50 miles from San Francisco. What if these assholes showed up at my parents’ church? What if these dirt bags showed up at Robert’s Mom’s church and sat next to his mother dressed like this? I can tell you what would happen – the gay community would have two very pissed off gay men just looking for a way to strike back!
So, our position on Prop 8 now is as follows: We encourage our family and friends around us to “vote their hearts, values, and religious beliefs.” Whatever they choose we will respect and honor their choice. As for us, we intend to Vote YES on Prop 8 because we dislike the bastards who misjudged us and our values as members of the GLBT community.
Both our families will also Vote YES on 8. People who engage in tactics like these do not reflect or values, beliefs, or speak for us. In fact, these activists do not represent the over 109,000 gay couples, raising approximately 50,000 kids, living out in “mainstream society” in California.
People like us.
Our country was founded on “religious freedom” and it has been written into our national and state constitutions. The pilgrims came to this country searching for religious freedom. Religion is rooted deeply into our national heritage and for anyone to think we are going to change this - well, it’s crazy for the GLBT community in California to believe that we are going to change these institutions without a fight, or by winning a few court battles.
The backlash we face is significant, but the activists never thought about this.
Churches have a RIGHT to worship in peace as they choose. NOBODY has a right to disrupt, intimidate, protest, or disrespect these services, no matter what their agenda is.
While I may not agree with many of the Church’s doctrines and teachings, out of respect and tolerance I remain humble, quiet, and respectful during the proceedings.
I take great offense to anyone in MY community who demands the “right” to get married, yet thinks nothing of trampling the rights of others to worship in peace as they choose and believe.
Proposition 8 has forced us and others like us to make a choice: A choice between “going with the flow” and voting as gay men OR protecting our families values, their right to worship in peace, and their right to their religious institutions (like marriage).
We have news for many in our community: When our community condones, supports, or tacitly approves of such baiting tactics, then you can bet we will cross lines. We will protect our families and all the beliefs they hold dear regardless of what mainstream West Hollywood or San Francisco will be doing.
Prior to this ballot measure, we were really indifferent to the whole matter. However, as voters and as a gay couple it has now gotten personal. We are now being asked to make a choice between our families and our community.
We have news for all those angry-bitter people in our community; we choose to protect our family from the gay activists who threaten our families’ beliefs and religious institutions. This is a no-brainer.
While the Sisters are the most visible example, they are NOT the only examples in our community who engage in religious baiting tactics.
Come November 5th, 2008, it is time our leaders in the GLBT community (like you) come together, rethink these practices, and address this matter. Not only is this counterproductive, it is certainly not a good example of tolerance – the same tolerance we as a community demand. Over the years, I have found these actions offensive and it was for these reasons I avoided events where “the Sisters” appeared.
We do NOT make donations to this community organization.
GLBT community groups who engaged in this type of provocative action should be publically denounced by senior members of our community, GLBT churches, and the more mature members of the GLBT community. The improper actions of a few are not a good representation of the community as a whole. Yet, the actions of a few will probably lead to the ban on gay marriage in the State of California because they have consistently cross the lines of good taste and respect which has angered the well-funded and well-organized religious communities across the USA.
They have certainly alienated more responsible members of their own community, and caused us to cross the lines and vote YES on Prop 8.
John Boehner’s office has issued this statement on the Democrats throwing in the towel on drilling. Leader Boehner sounds the same caution I sounded earlier. Here’s the money quote from Leader Boehner’s statement:
Lifting these outdated bans is a long-overdue but crucial step toward American energy independence. But it is just that: a step. Congress still has a great deal of work left to do before the ‘all of the above’ energy plan proposed by House Republicans becomes a reality. Two months ago, we introduced the American Energy Act to increase environmentally-safe drilling that gives states a stake in energy production occurring off their shores and on their lands, encourage more conservation and efficiency, and promote the use of renewable and alternative fuels.
Giving states a financial incentive would be the last domino that’s needed to fall to achieve final victory for the American people. States would get healthy in a hurry if they got annual checks in the hundreds of millions of dollars. (more…)
Sen. Biden has provided alot of fodder for late night comedians thus far. How much more late night fodder the Obama-Biden can take is anyone’s guess. Here’s Sen. Gaffemeister’s latest:
Here’s the transcript:
Part of what a leader does is to instill confidence. It is to demonstrate that he or she knows what she’s talking about & communicates with people. If you’re following & listening, we can fix this.
When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on television & he didn’t just, you know, talk about the princes of greed. He said, “Look, here’s what happened.”
FDR got on TV immediately after the stock market crash? Do tell. Let’s start with a history lesson. FDR wasn’t president when the Stock Market crashed. Hoover was. Second, There weren’t more than a virtual handful of TV’s in operation in 1929. For that matter, people were still probably arguing where this new thing called radio was a passing fad or if it would last.
Sen. Gaffemeister is right. Part of what a leader does is “demonstrate that he or she knows what she’s talking about.” By that definition, he’s just told America that he isn’t a leader. I expect him to distance himself from this comment ASAP. That still won’t change opinions, though. He’s still making a fool of himself.
Since Friday morning, I’ve been hearing anecdotal evidence that Sarah Palin was helping John McCain’s campaign. Now I have a way of measuring it. Here’s what a Zogby International poll found:
The interactive online Zogby survey shows that both Obama and McCain have solidified the support among their own parties; Obama won 86% support of Democrats and McCain 89% of Republicans in a two-way head-to-head poll question not including the running mates. When Biden and Palin are added to the mix, Obama’s Democratic support remains at 86%, while McCain’s increases to 92%.
This is proof that conservatives love the pick, as well they should. Having 92% of the conservatives supporting McCain is nothing short of spectacular. That’s approaching Bush-Cheney 04 levels.
I’ve been suspicious of Zogby International’s polling so I sought other forms of confirmation. It didn’t take long to find it. Consider this David Brody post for CBN:
For the most part, social conservatives and the Evangelical base are now about to come fully on board. Obama’s enthusiasm gap has narrowed considerably. Anytime you have motivated Evangelicals behind you it means your candidate is in a good spot. Watch for pro-family organizations and the McCain team to now start working together to get out the vote. This CAN NOT be emphasized enough.
Working at CBN gives Mr. Brody a pretty good grasp of what evangelical Christians are thinking. Couple McCain’s pick with his performance at Saddleback and there’s tons of reasons why evangelical Christians are jumping on board.
Mark Warner’s speech didn’t live up to the 2004 keynote address. In fact, it was downright boring. Not only that but it spent too much time spinning things that are indefensible. I’ve picked some of the things from the transcript to illustrate Mr. Warner’s spin. Here’s the first example:
We need a President who understands the world today, the future we seek, and the change we need. We need Barack Obama as the next President of the United States.
When did Sen. Obama start understanding the world? If Sen. Obama has this great understanding of the world, why was he forced to abandon Kathleen Sebelius, who was his first choice, and pick Joe Biden? Here’s the answer from an Obama insider:
“We needed the foreign policy on the bottom of the ticket more than we want to admit,” says the insider.
That doesn’t sound like Sen. Obama understands the world.
I understand why Gov. Warner said this. He was tasked with talking up Sen. Obama. He did the best he could. Unfortunately, he bored people. He couldn’t even get his one attack on Sen. McCain right: (more…)
It’s becoming obvious that Democrats are getting hit hard on the energy issue. It’s becoming equally obvious that Republicans are stepping up the pressure on Ms. Pelosi. This WSJ article highlights how Republicans are attacking the issue.
In her attempt to outmaneuver Republicans, Ms. Pelosi may be using some of the same tools that Mr. Reid used in the recent Senate energy bill debate. Before the August recess, the majority leader offered the Republicans a vote on drilling, but conditioned it on Republican support for renewable energy tax credits, and the chamber failed to pass any energy legislation. Neither side appears to want to actually reach a compromise, but are simply using energy as an election-year bat with which to beat their opponents.
“Raising taxes will ultimately hurt consumers by forcing them to pay even higher gas prices, and Republicans will oppose them,” Kevin Smith, spokesman for House Minority Leader Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) said in an email.
Mr. Smith said Ms. Pelosi’s plan was “largely more of the same failed proposals they’ve been trotting out for months,” and is “designed to give political cover to vulnerable Democrats who are losing ground,” he said.
I said here that tax increases of any sort should be immediately rejected. Much to my delight, they’ve been rejected faster than I’d expected. Here’s what President Bush said: (more…)
According to this article, the compromise bill brought forth by the Gang of Ten has just given Sen. Obama the advantage in the energy debate. It’s true that Senate Republicans have done something stupid in compromising with desperate Democrats. That doesn’t mean that their bill tips this issue in Sen. Obama’s favor. Far from it. Here’s where the mask slips:
The $84 billion New Energy Reform Act would fund an effort, which its backers liken to the Apollo moon landing program, to transform the nation’s cars and trucks, with a goal of having 85 percent of new vehicles on the road run on nonpetroleum-based fuels within 20 years.
Consumers don’t care about whether 85 percent of the vehicles will be using “nonpetroleum-based fuels within 20 years.” They care about cheaper gas today. Something that Mr. Keating isn’t factoring in are some of the provisions in the New ERA. If Sen. Obama wants to hitch his energy wagon to this bill, then he’s itching for some trouble. Here’s one of the provisions that won’t be popular:
Responsible, Targeted Domestic Energy Production
To help meet our energy needs until our economy transitions to advanced alternative fuel vehicles, the New Era bill increases domestic energy production in environmentally responsible ways. The legislation:
• Provides a CO2 sequestration credit for use in enhanced oil recovery to increase production from existing oil wells while reducing greenhouse gas emissions;
TRANSLATION: New ERA imposes a cap and trade provision.
Let’s remember that the cap and trade bill couldn’t make it on its own. In fact, it collapsed because the American people hated the idea of a job-killing tax increase. Democrats refuse to let that die so they insisted that Cap and Trade be included in this ‘compromise bill.’ The 5 Republicans in the Gang of Ten should be ashamed of themselves for agreeing to this provision.
Here’s another provision that’s sure to make people angry: (more…)
This morning, Rep. Ed Markey, (D-Taxachusetts), wrote an editorial in the WSJ criticizing Republicans for their insistence on drilling. This is my response to Rep. Markey:
Rep. Markey, I find this section of your Wall Street Journal editorial highly objectionable:
Ask most Americans how to break our dependence on oil and expensive fossil fuels and bring down prices, and they’ll tell you to expand renewable energy production, produce more fuel-efficient cars and trucks, and be smart about using energy. Ask the oil industry, or their allies in Congress and the White House, and they’ll have a singular answer: drill.
The problem is, a fire sale of our nation’s beaches to oil companies won’t bring down prices for at least a decade, and even then the effect would be insignificant. And that’s according to the oil-centric Bush administration.
Considering the fact that you chair the House Select Committee on Energy Independence and Global Warming, I’d expect you to know about production levels of oil rigs on the OCS. Whether you agree or disagree with the report, certainly you’ve heard of this report by the Institute for Energy Research. IER’s study debunks the myth you and other Democarts are spreading that drilling won’t “bring down prices for at least a decade.” (more…)
Last week, I said that Democrats, without exception, cited the same EIA report. I’ve said that it’s like they don’t want to trust industry experts, that they’d rather trust a bureaucrat than an industry expert. I’m about to destroy the Democrats’ credibility with some new information:
Recently, for example, some have pointed an Energy Information Administration (EIA) report that estimated the amount of oil we could produce on the Outer Continental Shelf (OCS) if the drilling ban were lifted. EIA estimated this to be approximately 200,000 barrels per day.
Unfortunately, this figure, and the data it was based on, is fatally flawed. For example:
200,000 barrels per day is roughly equal to the daily production rate one new offshore platform in the Gulf of Mexico. The Thunder Horse oil production facility, which will be on line this year, is designed to produce 250,000 barrels per day. 2
The Atlantis oil platform currently producing in the Gulf of Mexico has a production capacity of 200,000 barrels per day. 3
It’s difficult to believe that someone’s research is that sloppy. It’s more difficult to believe that Democrats didn’t know this when they started citing this report. Either they’re too lazy to dig into the veracity of the report or they didn’t want to know or they knew the truth and just ignored it because it didn’t fit their storyline. As damning as that information is, this information doesn’t help Democrats’ credibility either: (more…)
URUMQI, China - In an audacious and deadly attack just days ahead of the Beijing Olympics, two men from a mainly Muslim ethnic group rammed a truck and hurled explosives at jogging policemen in China’s restive far west Monday, killing 16.
Technorati Tags: